Expenses

My family life has been so up and down since the divorce. Right now, it's down. Way down. My mom is being less productive than ever around the house (although I admit, I'm not being very helpful, either) and she's constantly fighting with Ben, giving him reasons not to go to friends' houses or the skatepark. And every time any of us has a conversation with Dad, it ends in a screaming match because he's so uncooperative and stubborn. Recently, the latest topic to argue about has been me...


I have my license now. I've been looking online and at dealerships for a car. My dad has trucks that he's selling and he's willing to use that money towards my car. When I started looking, he gave me guidelines: less than $10,000, 100,000 miles, and 10 years. I found about 4 cars in the area that fit my criteria - regarding looks, of course - and his. As time has passed (the weeks go by so quickly now and I can't figure out if that's good or not), he's told me that he can only put about $4,000 towards a down payment immediately. He said the rest will come before I go to college. That's too long. This means that we'll have to finance to buy a car before my birthday or graduation, which makes the overall price go wayyy up. He also wants Mom to cover the rest, besides the $4,000. This is a big problem. Right now, living in the house with Ben and the dogs, her part-time job (even Naples finally felt the recession) is leaving us in the red. The money her parents (my grandparents) left is the only thing keeping us afloat right now. But you wouldn't know it! She's still spending plenty. I didn't even know that, until my mom talked to me about it yesterday. I feel so awful for being so expensive... Yet she's the one who just spent $2,000 on a brand new laptop. Awesome. Anyway.. Mom can't afford to pay approximately $500 a month for a car that I don't have the need for - in her opinion. Dad was saying he'd put away $1250 to accumulate for a car for me - I don't even know what happened to that anymore, but he hasn't mentioned it recently. Ugh so complicated. Plus, Mom doesn't agree with Dad's criteria, at all. She says, as long as it runs and it's not a piece of junk, it's okay to settle for something older and more used, for a first car. I don't even know what to think anymore.


And about college, Mom and I went to a meeting about financial aid, and she told me she wants me to apply to FGCU (local college) as a back up. I'm already admitted - not just accepted! - to FIT. Even thinking about going to FGCU crushes all my dreams and I just can't take that. FIT is expensive... but with my merit scholarship, federal aid, grants, and possibly even loans, we can make it, right? I don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life, but I don't want to be stuck in a school and major that I can't stand. This is so hard. Then again, no one said life would be easy.